Awake and Alive
by DaChocolat
Summary: This was a little request, so again a short Fraxus oneshot! It refers to the scene the animators added in the GMG ARC, the one where Laxus jumped in front of Wendy to save her from the dragon. It wasn't in the manga, but this addition did make for some good Fraxus feelz and some angst


"I thought it was over."

It had been like in one of those movies where the moment of doom and tears flashed past you in some kind of dramatic slow motion. One realized the moment, he realized the moment but refused to process and most of all accept what happened just right in front of his eyes. He was able to see and observe it clearly and yet his sight seemed blurred. The moment he watched Laxus die.

He felt a familiar touch on his forearm, accompanied by soft grunting noises and no less a person than Laxus happened to be the source.

"N-Nothing. Sorry. You should be sleeping."

"Don't say that when ya should be sleepin' as well, hm."

Pursed lips became the noticeable sign as to the inner struggle for whether he should just go with ignoring the retorting words or lifting his gaze from the blanket which kept them warm and talk to him about the thought which was chasing him till his dreams. In the end and after some brief moments of consideration Freed took the decision which contained the action of actually looking up to the person who was quietly placed beside him, more or less open and in any case sleepy eyes meeting his own, expressing and confirming only that it was in the dead of the night, or rather early morning.

It was not long since the scenario he was so horrified by occurred. In fact and if he remembered correctly it happened only one and a half week ago. Up until now, no words about it had been come to the open though his fears and worries, he had kept deep inside. Not deep enough it appeared, however then again he was aware that it was impossible to shrink thoughts as such when they were this influencing and on top of that, were in connection with the bad and the person he loved the most.

"…I thought it was over…"

Laxus' mien did not alter, it was as if he kept a straight face yet the rune mage was capable of finding this tiny little spark of bedlam growing slowly in his orange hues filled with tiredness. He could not be blamed, how was he supposed to know what Freed was talking about anyway? A long pause in which he couldn't help but avoid the other's gaze, his own now finding the blanket again digits were fidgeting with in unrest, his kind of tousled hair matching his current condition of mind all too well.

"What?"

The short inquiry was what broke the silence which lingered in their bedroom and Freed didn't react immediately. It was not like he was able to. Or did he have regrets for his decision already? He should just have stayed quiet, shouldn't he? Actually he was sort of torn as for his opinion on his own thoughts and reactions. Nothing had happened right? Laxus was lying next to him, safe and sound. He could see him, he could smell him, he could touch him. He could still be with him, so what reason was there to bring up some sort of turmoil? But again, he couldn't help it.

"Mn..Freed?"

Again it was Laxus voice which resonated and not his own, obviously still awaiting a response. Of course…With a lump in his throat the younger male among the two rose his gaze a second time, detaching it from the blanket which currently served more as a stilling method than…well, a blanket. There was no sign of impatience to hear in the other's voice, more likely, and what surprised him, it was worry he believed to detect. Apart from the kinda cute grumbling and drowsy undertone. Concern. Once again it was as if many images rushed past his inner eye, his own soundless scream and arms which grabbed his own to hold him back. More screams which didn't belong to him. There was not all too much he remembered about his own reactions…It was more like Bixlow and Evergreen had told him upon his own request of wanting to know. His focus had been set on the one certain lightning dragon slayer which had vanished all of sudden in front of him. And he knew he wouldn't have returned. He would have stayed disappeared. Forever.

 _{ "LAXUSSSSS!" }_

"…Sorry…"

"Whatcha apologizin' for anyway? Tell me already what's concernin' you."

Yes it was clearer now. The concern. Was it the expression mirrored in his own cyan eyes? Was it the shaking undertone in his voice he attempted so hard to keep from becoming apparent? Was it the fact that both of them were familiar with the other reactions to nightmares and disturbing thoughts at night and during sleep? In the end, it didn't matter. Absent-minded, he was. Nearly not noticing the shifting next to him until he blinked a couple of times and found the taller man having turned to his side completely and crawled closer. It was so tempting to just bury his head in Laxus' chest right now and start another try to escape from these thoughts which weren't true anymore.

Some aspects and things which existed were ungraspable to every being, he was aware of that all too well, and yet he wished that it was not like this. Sometimes he did, that was. A mind could be a cruel weapon and at times it turned against one's own existence. It created images of a grey future, him walking on a lonley road with his shadow being the only one which walked beside him, the only sound being the one of his shallow heart. Lies, these images were.

"…You…died…"

For a moment it seemed as if the blond was still unaware of what Freed was talking about, however it was the more obvious thought still slight alteration in his expression which told him that he was aware. A second time there would transpire nothing but silence, orange hues eyeing the green-haired male next to him and noticed the fingers which began to grip the blanket lightly, once again. Gaze resting on them for a little while before it wandered up to lock eyes with the other. Or so, Laxus tried at least for it was not really possible with the rune magician having his look lowered.

"You…died…in front of my eyes…this dragon…he…I…"

One heartbeat. It was able to change so incredibly much. One word. One action. One second. He couldn't do anything. Was not able to. The only thing he could was to watch the man he loved falling into the black wings of death. With no path back to him. But at the same evening it was one single moment as well who was his light. The light of each and everyone of them. And because of that one single moment he could still be there with all of his comrades…and with Laxus.

"You died…in front of my eyes and I..I couldn't..I was not…quick enough to…"

He didn't wish to interrupt himself but it was rather a touch that fulfilled the purpose of simple shutting him up as Laxus moved a finger towards him and placed it on his lips, orange eyes seemingly less tired than before and he supporting himself on one of his elbows.

"No, I'm here. No need to relive that or somethin'."

"B-But—"

"No but, keep quiet or I'll shut you up in a less gentle way."

And this sentence had its effect. For the time being. While the assertion sounded like a rather rough one Laxus' voice was more gentle than anything else and it was his manner of calming the jutsushiki mage. He had noticed that Freed had reached the point at which he would begin to get all worked up about the scenario which was haunting him. After the silent torture, the words now just wanted to pour out of his mouth. Words which told about the insecurity and the fear, words which only served to increase the black hole and that was something Laxus wanted to avoid. He was not much of a talker, especially not when it got around topics like this one.

Yes, for a moment it had been over. It was not like he had realized all too much, but still. And after all, it was not quite an astonishment that these images chased the rune mage. Now he was looking into those turquoise kind of sparkling eyes of his, taking note of the suspicious glint awfully well. He knew it. Laxus knew what that meant and thus he would just slowly withdraw his finger and allow a low sigh to escape between his tiers.

"…Alright?"

Freed merely replied with a small nod, though this time he did not avert his eyes.

"I'm here, kay? I'm not gonna leave you for a while."

It was a promise Laxus would not be able to keep. In fact it could be over anytime. Any second. And still he found that this was some kind of reassurance he could offer. He was capable to imagine how Freed felt, which sort of sensations were pestering him. He would not be able to bear losing him either. Didn't even want to imagine a scenario along these lines. So the blond just had to trust his own words and concentrate on the here and now. Letting bygones be bygones and the future just happen, right?

"Idiot, I didn't leave and I won't. Look at me, I'm in one piece. Still a damn attractive piece."

It was the playful wiggle of his eyebrows what caused Freed's lips to give a twitch at last, greenish blue hues still glinting and with his tousled hair and this expression on his countenance he kinda looked like a picture of misery. Yet, that changed now with one single little alteration and finally a low huff which was released by the rune mage as he looked away only to give his lips the permission to form a silent smile. A shake of his head and he looked back, now with a chuckle playing on his features.

"…And you are calling me an idiot…"

Murmured words, his vox now more soft than heavy. And the changed sight of Freed was what eased Laxus inwardly, a lot, but it was not like he would exactly show that fact.

"But it's true. You know it's true. I know that you think it's true."

With those words being said the lightning dragon slayer laid back and focuses the other with a slight teasing smirk. Though what he certainly hadn't expected to happen next was that the rune mage, an eyebrow raised of course, would just reach towards his lips and squish the other's lips together while letting the other hand ruffle his hair without a word. Just with that typical expression on his face. And Laxus blinked at this action, followed by low deep grumbling and all he earned at this was a smirk which was equal to the one Laxus had worn before.

But exactly that was what made Laxus happy. Seeing Freed being happy. Because after all, to both of them it was the each other's happiness which was worth much more than their own.


End file.
